Sunday, October 5, 2008

A Quiet Place

Is there a quiet place in your life?I am having work done on the kitchen wall. It involved removing an old odd wall and studding and putting up dry wall, plastering and sanding. Four days and counting. Okay, so they were partial days except for the first one, but were the four days I had cleared the calendar to write and finish projects.

When I got the call that the carpenter had a cancellation and could begin work several weeks early, I was at once happy and disturbed. I have lung problems and there would be dust. Lots of dust. I would have to be the person here, because my husband would be at work.And, darn it, I wanted to write.I decided that this might be a test from the universe ( bear with me here) about my commitment to writing. Whether it is or not, I found out this;I am committed. I got a lot more done than I expected. I was so excited that the work was going on on the level below me that I focused more on my writing.I found that I felt like someone was looking over my shoulder, of course it was me, and I wanted to please myself for a change by doing what I love, writing.

I wasn't answering to anyone for these few days, because I had to be at the house; no quick trips to help friends or long chats on the phone. I was in a room that had no phone and I kept the cordless downstairs and turned off. Plus it was too noisy to talk on teh phone, but not too noisy to write!Another discovery is that I don't have to run to a cabin in the moountains to find solitude, at least not if I am willing to put up with the sounds of construction. Once I started story-telling, the writing flowed and my brain shut out all of the extraneous sounds.

I had scheduled this time to write knowing my honey would interrupt me and that life would pull me out of my zone from time to time.Instead, my honey went bowling or riding or what ever, because he couldn't help with the kitchen, and there was no room for him to sit in my little nook.I was in a comfortable chair being stored in an unused bedroom and had a window for good light and a sense of hiding out in a tree house! The room is in the upper level of our home. It is cluttered and looks like my attic would look if I had one.

The most powerful discovery was that I could pull away from family and friends without them being angry and with me feeling relief instead of guilt for not doing the important things first. I couldn't work in the kitchen so we ate take out. I might not have done that if the work wasn't being done.I didn't have to do dishes, grocery shopping, laundry or cleaning, because, well, I couldn't.WHAT AN AWESOME FEELING!

I think I have learned from this experience to give myself the gift of several days vacation at home. It is okay to have take out four days in a row. It is okay to be the guest in my own home and let others do what they think is important. It is okay to be out of reach of friends and family, and it is oaky if they don't understand. Who ever said you have to be understood all the time.I have freed my inner woman of mystery. I don't have to explain to anyone when I need time away from the ordinary. It is okay to feed my soul and let someone else feed my body.And it is not just okay but necessary to find solitude where ever you are.

hugs, kathi h

No comments: